Ownership?

What does it mean? Part 2

It's been a while since my last blog and to those following I apologise. In fact though, pressure of work and Master Himself's trip to visit friends have conspired to give us little time to meet since he got back from his holiday break.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about our relationship too, and didn't want to post this before I'd spoken to him about my feelings. You'll remember that Sir wanted to collar or own me. This he told me would mean several important changes to my behaviour and the one he had told me and which I spoke about in my previous entry was being completely clean-shaven below the neck.

'"So when you say below the neck" I asked to clarify, "you are speaking about a complete body shave?"



His single word answer "yes"came as a solid wall of an answer i had run into.'

Now i know my mind has been wandering about the emasculation i thought i'd feel from this idea and the submission it represents – but i've been staring to come to terms with it. So when i had the chance to meet up with Master Himself shortly after he got home i decided i'd try out the feel and look and while i had the clipper in my hand from cutting my head hair back to it's normal No 1 back and sides, i took off the guard and proceeded to take my body hair.

Off my chest and belly, off from under my arms and around my arse (as best i could). I didn't go all the way on my forearms, though i did thin the hair out there quite a bit, since i was concerned about comments from work colleagues. This was a major worry but I think i'm starting to come to terms with that too.

Anyway I went round to Master Himself's flat and was let in by his Alpha – I stripped and following instructions entered his room where he was taking a nap to wake him “as a slave should” i got under the bed clothes and took Sir's cock into my mouth and proceeded to pleasure him. After a while he woke and after a while more ... we got up and the three of us went out for a meal.

We had a very pleasant pub meal, I took his Alpha's lead calling him Sir at all times even in the pub – though i'd admit that we were not exactly in a position to be overheard, though i hope that it would not have made much difference. I was also trying to work out what the protocol of standing where was – holding doors open etc for Sir.

So when we returned to base Sir and i chatted about this protocol – where i should walk in relation to him at certain times, how to behave around the flat etc, how i should address him (such as calling him Sir in public as well as in private).

This conversation roamed over matters and issues and we spoke in intervals between my servicing of his body,with my tongue, lips and hands. It was while I was servicing Sir that his Alpha returned home from work. Popping in the bedroom, where i was licking Master Himself all over, he snogged his Master and again he was friendly to me but was, i thought, distant, a feeling I'd had before. He is a lovely generally friendly man, as is his Master, and but i had a feeling I was in the way – not unlikely you'd think? Yes i agree, but Sir had reassured me that wasn't the case.

My fear has been all along I'd either be in the way or wouldn't be getting what I'm looking for if we were to go towards ownership. I've been clear, both in my mind and in what i've said to Master Himself that while I'm very happy to serve Master Himself on a casual basis and grateful for all I've been learning from him, I will not jeopardise his relationship with his Alpha but i want to be more than an occasional / casual visitor if i was to be owned.

Now as we chatted Master Himself told me that while his Alpha liked me, sexually he was not interested. Now this would mean that whenever I was to spend time with Master Himself either it would have to be when his Alpha was not about or he would be excluded or exclude himself and I would be taking up his time with his Master, and this concerns me.

I had hoped I would be able to spent with them together in a relaxed way, and though the service i'd give would be mostly for Master Himself alone, sometimes i might serve them both; occasionally i might serve his Alpha, for example if Master Himself was out or not yet returned. Perhaps i might be permitted to help Master Himself using his Alpha and learn by being shown how etc. I saw potentially day trips out or perhaps a long weekend with us ending up in a hotel room together. Now it looks like i'd be serving Master Himself alone while his Alpha is off doing something else or not in, when i could be available and Master Himself was too, or i'd feel in the way. This is not looking as good. So I've been a bit down about it, my concerns on other matters magnified by the new information.

Now logically nothing much has changed we are where we were, and as such I'm happy to continue my association with Master Himself, serving and being trained, but I do not think at this time ownership is something I'd consider, with its higher levels of commitment. But whats in a name, some people would consider what i would do as ownership already, others would poo-poo what i'd have to do as a very loose ownership anyway. It's all in the perception after all – what is ownership? In a land without slavery? Obviously it means a commitment to another, following rules the owner gives you but beyond that... whatever you agree it means, i guess.

Now I need to discuss all this with Master Himself.